How To Maintain A Relationship With Your Ex

How To Maintain A Relationship With Your Ex
How To Maintain A Relationship With Your Ex

Too few divorcing parents consider how they will continue their relationship with each other after a divorce. This may seem counterintuitive—after all, isn’t the purpose of divorce to end a relationship? While that’s true, the reality for parents is that if they have children, they will likely need to maintain some level of contact.

Co-parenting, or shared parenting, is now the expected norm. It assumes that both parents will play active roles in raising their children, even if they no longer live together. To do this effectively, they must learn to get along at some level, as they will interact when the child moves between households, and they may need to coordinate family activities and holidays based on each other’s schedules. Embracing this concept early in the divorce process can make things easier for everyone involved.

For example, engaging in petty disputes before finalising a divorce settlement is less likely when both parties recognise that ongoing communication is necessary for co-parenting. They are more likely to prioritise reaching a workable agreement that puts the children’s well-being at the forefront when they consider the long-term logistics.

In my work, I have encountered many divorced parents, giving me a deep empathy for both children and parents in these situations. My primary concern is often the impact of divorce on the children, as it should be.

While some parents are able to divorce amicably and continue to co-parent effectively well into adulthood, this isn’t the case for everyone, and it’s the children who often suffer the most. I work diligently to help parents understand the impact of their behaviour on their children throughout the divorce process.

Parents should refrain from using the process to score points and instead focus on developing new ways of communicating. In the worst cases, children become messengers between their parents, which can be devastating, especially as they are often already coping with the breakup of their family unit. As a member of Resolution, a family law organisation, I have witnessed the benefits of adopting a non-combative approach in negotiations.

Here are some tips to help minimise conflicts with an ex when co-parenting:

  • Remember, you are both parents, regardless of the status of your marriage.
  • Involve your children in discussions about arrangements, if appropriate for their age.
  • Consider keeping a shared or online calendar with important dates and custody schedules.
  • Acknowledge that challenges may arise, but commit to working through them for the well-being of your children.
  • Focus on prioritising the children’s needs over personal grievances towards the other parent.

While your relationship with your ex may not resemble what it was during marriage, it is still important and necessary for the sake of your children.

by DLS Solicitors
24th April 2024
DLS Solicitors

Our team of professionals are based in Alderley Edge, Cheshire. We offer clear, specialist legal advice in all matters relating to Family Law, Wills, Trusts, Probate, Lasting Power of Attorney and Court of Protection.

All author posts
Related Posts
  • chattels
    Asset Valuation Problems – Chattels

    DLS Solicitors offers insight into asset valuation issues, particularly concerning chattels. Explore our concise guide to understand common challenges and effective solutions in accurately valuing assets. Trust our team to provide expert guidance tailored to your unique situation.

  • Common Terms And Conditions In Separation Agreements
    Common Terms And Conditions In Separation Agreements

    Experiencing a separation, whether you’re married or cohabiting, can be an incredibly stressful and emotionally taxing period. It’s a whirlwind of confusion and uncertainty that requires careful navigation. A separation agreement emerges as an effective tool in these circumstances to help ease the process by providing a clear plan for the division of responsibilities and

  • Understanding the Impact of Public Law Outline on Family Law Cases
    Understanding the Impact of Public Law Outline on Family Law Cases

    The Public Law Outline (PLO) is a set of guidelines introduced in 2008 by the Family Justice Council in the United Kingdom to streamline and improve the handling of public law cases involving children. These cases typically involve local authorities intervening in family matters where there are concerns about the welfare of children. Background of

  • residential conveyancing
    How to Avoid Selling Your House to Pay for Care

    DLS Solicitors offers invaluable guidance on safeguarding your most prized asset, your home, from being liquidated to cover care costs. Delve into practical strategies and legal avenues to protect your property while ensuring proper care for yourself or your loved ones. Empower yourself with expert advice from DLS Solicitors on navigating the intricate landscape of long-term care financing without compromising your home ownership.