A recent case in the family courts underscores the reluctance of some individuals to reach a compromise and highlights the exorbitant costs of failing to do so. In the case of Crowther v. Crowther & Ors, legal expenses totaling £2.3 million far outweighed the financial gains secured in the settlement. Mr. Justice Peel, the High Court Judge presiding over the case, concluded:
“The primary losers are likely the children, who not only endure the emotional strain of witnessing their parents embroiled in bitter proceedings but also stand to lose out on financial resources that their parents would have likely wanted them to benefit from in due course.”
The genuine cost, including the emotional toll on all family members, is likely immeasurable.
Regrettably, this narrative is all too familiar for the family law practitioners at DLS Solicitors. For many years, we have witnessed the harm inflicted upon families who insist on litigation instead of seeking compromise.
Dedicated family lawyers are committed to achieving outcomes that extend beyond mere financial considerations. Our aim is not to punish the other party involved. Assisting clients in ending a marriage entails fostering a constructive new relationship with their former partner, particularly when co-parenting is involved.
The rewards of compromise can be profound, offering adults the opportunity to move forward emotionally and financially.
Individuals going through divorce or separation can come to realise that compromise does not equate to surrendering or going without. One can opt to pursue every possible advantage to the bitter end, leaving everyone’s nerves, including the children’s, in tatters. Alternatively, one can choose to expedite the transition to an independent, financially stable future while preserving the family’s emotional well-being. This provides a far better basis for embarking on a positive new chapter in life.
Negotiating a divorce settlement
Consider these guidelines for negotiating your divorce settlement:
- Don’t focus on what you feel entitled to financially.
- Avoid thinking solely about division, defence, or avoidance strategies.
- Consider both your financial needs and those of your soon-to-be-former partner.
- Approach negotiations as a joint effort to achieve a fair outcome that prioritises the well-being of both parties and the children.
- Seek assistance from professionals who can guide you through the process.
Navigating divorce and separation is challenging, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Ultimately, the individuals involved and their families must collaborate to find and implement a solution that addresses everyone’s needs, particularly prioritising the well-being of the children and ensuring fairness. This empowerment can be difficult to achieve when emotions are running high. Fortunately, various professionals can provide support in moving forward from the emotional aftermath of a relationship breakdown.
Three rules for negotiating finances when you divorce
- Start with Reasonableness: Always approach financial negotiations with reasonableness in mind. Otherwise, you risk accumulating extensive legal costs that can quickly diminish the assets you’re fighting over. If negotiations don’t meet your expectations, reassess those expectations to ensure they are reasonable. Consider the consequences of pushing for a specific outcome against the potential costs, time, and impact on your family’s well-being.
- See the Bigger Picture: Avoid the temptation to seek revenge or punish your former partner due to hurt feelings from the relationship breakdown. While it’s common to see embittered spouses portrayed in TV dramas seeking to “take their ex to the cleaners,” this rarely aligns with reality or the legal landscape in British family courts. Instead, focus on fairness and what would be best for everyone involved, including yourself, your ex-partner, and your children.
- Get Informed: Ensure you have accurate legal information before taking a position. Many parties enter negotiations already entrenched in conflict without understanding alternative approaches like mediation. Your solicitor can provide clarity on your options and guide negotiations. Good divorce lawyers prioritise negotiation and compromise, considering the broader impact on families. The judiciary is also emphasising negotiation and settlements outside the courtroom, with efforts to reduce court cases and encourage compromise among couples.
